What to Do If Your Loved One Is Held on Remand in New Zealand

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Finding out that your loved one has been remanded in custody can be overwhelming and confusing. In New Zealand, being “on remand” means a person is held in custody while awaiting trial or sentencing—not because they’ve been convicted, but because bail was denied or not applied for. If you’re unsure what to do next, here’s a practical guide to help you support your person inside and take care of yourself during this challenging time.

1. Understand What Remand Means

Remand prisoners are legally presumed innocent until proven guilty. They are usually housed separately from sentenced prisoners and may be held in police cells, court cells, psychiatric facilities, or prisons. Time spent on remand counts toward any eventual prison sentence.

2. I refused someone to be bailed at my address

Depending on what the charges are and the seriousness of these, a person may be eligible to be bailed out to your address instead of going into custody. You may have been asked by the lawyer if your person can be placed on bail at your house so they did not have to go into remand. For many reasons you may have said no and these are likely to be very valid. You may have said no because you took into account the impact of your person not being able to leave the premises would have on you and your children. This could be that there was domestic violence that you or others were experiencing and you know this would only increase and put you at risk if the person could not leave the property while on bail. You might have refused bail because you know the person would likely skip their bail restrictions and then be in a worse position for any future court hearing. Your person may also be engaged in destructive behaviours such as drug taking and this would likely continue if the person was bailed to your address. They may also have association with people who have violent or drug taking histories that may put you and any children at risk as they will need to visit the home because your person would not be able to leave the property unless going to an official appointment. These are all very valid reasons and it is important that you put yourself and any children or other family members who reside at your address first, especially where there are any safety concerns. Even if you had agreed to a person being bailed at your house, the Police may also turn this down due to their concerns about the person.

Saying no to having your loved one bailed to your address may however be hard. The impact of denying someone bail can be very heavy and cause a lot of stress on you, even if you know it was for the right reason. You may be fearful of what your loved one might think and do once they are released. You might worry about them phoning you from prison and what they will say to you. You may feel guilty after saying no and wonder if you have done the right thing. If you are in this place, please consider talking your decision over with someone you trust, let them know the reasons you made this decision and hear their advice as to whether you have done the right thing. In most times, it will likely be that you have made the right decision for you and your family. If you do decide to change your mind, you can always speak to your person’s lawyer about this.

Don’t estimate the stress that denying a person bail may have on you, even if it is the best decision. Having to choose between your children and the partner you love can be very difficult. Please seek support from those around you or from others as listed at the end of this post.

2. Find Out Where They Are

Generally a person is allowed one call when they are admitted into a prison facility. During this call, you can ask where they are, how they are doing and what they might need. It is helpful for you to ask what prison they are in, and what is their Prisoner Number. You will need to know both to be able to email or put money into their prisoner account. If the prisoner cannot remember your address or someone else’s phone number that they might need to contact, you can also tell them this on the phone. The address is important to send visitor request forms and property request forms to. The phone number is useful for them to apply for and get approved to call someone else. Please note that requests can take up to a month.

If you don’t know where your loved one is being held, you can complete the Seeking location of someone in prison online form

You may also be able to try:

  • The local police station where they were last seen.
  • The court where their case is being heard.
  • Their lawyer, if you know who it is. Note that the lawyer may not be able to share details due to confidentiality, especially if there are no-contact conditions in place.
  • or email info@corrections.govt.nz and ask for where they are held.

3. Respect No-Contact Orders

If a no-contact order has been issued, your loved one may not be allowed to communicate with you—even if you weren’t the one who requested it. Breaching this order can have serious legal consequences for both of you. If you believe the order is unnecessary or based on incorrect information, speak to a lawyer about your options.

4. Support Them Legally and Financially

  • Legal Aid: If your loved one doesn’t have a lawyer, they may be eligible for legal aid. Encourage them to request one through the court or police.
  • Depositing Funds: You may be able to deposit money into their prison account for essentials like phone calls or toiletries. Your person can tell you their Prisoner Number (PRN) which you will need along with their name to deposit funds. You can ring the prison they are kept at and ask for the bank account to deposit funds.
  • Disclosure Requests: If you’re a named victim and want to see your statement or correct inaccuracies, you can request this under the Privacy Act or Official Information Act.

5. Take Care of Practical Matters

If your loved one was receiving a benefit, Work and Income must be notified immediately. Payments usually stop the day after someone enters custody, but in some cases, support may continue if you have dependent children or ongoing costs.

You may also want to consider bank accounts or other bills that may require your loved one to sign. You can get a letter of approval signed by them to allow you to talk to agencies on their behalf. Some agencies have specific forms which you will need to have emailed to you for your person inside to complete. You will need to send these in, and have your person send them out to you to forward to the agency or send to the agency themselves. This may take some time to process.

Look After Yourself

This situation can take a toll on your mental and emotional health. There are some good ideas in some of our other blogs that can help you during this time. You may also want to consider:

  • Speaking with a counselor or therapist.
  • Reaching out to support groups or community law centres. A list of these is on our Support Organisations page.
  • joining and posting on the Families of Prisoners in Aoteaoroa/ New Zealand to get support from others who have someone inside.
  • Contacting Victim Support if you’ve been named in the case, even if you don’t identify as a victim.
  • Calling Lifeline 0800 543 354 or texting 4357.

7. Prepare for What’s Next

Remand can last weeks or even months. Your loved one may appear in court multiple times before trial or sentencing. Stay informed, ask questions, and seek legal advice if you’re unsure of your rights or responsibilities.

Being the partner, parent or close friend of someone on remand is emotionally complex. You may feel torn between loyalty, confusion, and concern for your own wellbeing. Remember, you’re not alone—and there are legal, emotional, and practical supports available to help you through.

Are they a good lawyer?

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Let me tell you a story… a true story.

There was a young man sitting in jail. As usual at this Corrections Facility he was locked up 22 out of 24 hours. He had been picked up 6 weeks earlier. A Legal Aid lawyer had been appointed and represented him at the first hearing the next day. The young man didn’t want to plead guilty as felt he wasn’t. The lawyer however entered a guilty plea against this young man’s wishes. The young man having had a police history in the past was then placed on remand until the next court date 6 weeks later.

The lawyer messaged the mother to say they were involved at the start, but then was difficult to contact. and never returned calls or texts requesting information on next hearing dates or what the plan was. Note permission had already been given by the young man for the lawyer to speak to their mother.

The lawyer first advised this young man would likely only be in for a month. The lawyer then changed their mind for some unknown reason and said he would be in for a likely minimum of 18 months. This was devastating as it didn’t appear the crime was deemed necessary of such harsh punishment, and the process leading to this didn’t seem right.

The young man couldn’t understand it but got no real answers from the lawyer. The mother also tried to get answers but if there was a reply back, it was very vague. She was unsettled but didn’t really know what to do. Maybe this was the law these days.

A case manager was appointed to the young man in prison just a week before his next hearing. On hearing the story the case manager decided to ask more questions at their end as something didn’t seem right. The case manager came back and told the young man get a new lawyer.

The young man rang his mother next time he was released from his cell. The information validated what the mother’s gut feeling was saying. She contacted a lawyer that she had been aware of was a good lawyer a few years ago at the other end of the country, and asked if they could advise the names of a good lawyer in the area the court hearing was going to be held. The lawyer recommended some names and the mother contacted one of them.

The lawyer listened carefully and asked questions about the past and what had happened now. The lawyer felt too something wasn’t right and agreed to take on the case. The mother was advised she could get another legal aid lawyer but that process would need agreement from the current Legal Aid lawyer and would likely take longer than the 5 days now remaining before the court case. It was decided to engage the lawyer and pay the lawyer instead. A reasonable rate was agreed to.

The lawyer maintained contact with the mother and advised what the plan was. The lawyer sought letters of support form the mother and family and friends. The lawyer also asked for emails that contained further information about what had happened at the time and the mothers engagement at this time.

The day of the hearing came and the lawyer stood up very confidently and said there had been a miscarriage of justice. the Judge agreed and the young man was released that day.

The difference a lawyer can make!

So how does one know if a lawyer is good or not? Some say no legal aid lawyers are good. It is not as simple as that. There are a lot of very good lawyers who believe in social justice and provide a portion of their services through legal aid to benefit those who do not have the funds to pay for a lawyer. There are some lawyers too who are unable to get more higher paid work because their level of representation is not great. Unfortunately it does seem there are more of these lawyers available on legal aid duty than the other types.

Signs of a good lawyer

Great communicators

Are they listening and asking questions about what you are saying? Do they reply back to questions or contact within a reasonable timeframe? Note good lawyers are often in court so cannot reply back immediately or even that day or the next if they have big trials on. A good lawyer will also keep you fully informed about all your options and a possible outcomes. They won’t just tell you one option.

Confident and Respected

Do they come across as confident when speaking with you and your person? Are they confident in the court room? Did it appear that the Judge and other lawyers respected them? Were they able to answer all the questions that were asked of them in a confident and appropriate manner?

Respectful and Professional

How did they talk to you and your person? Was it respectful? Does your person’s gut and yours tell you that you can trust them? Do they discuss all decisions that are important with you or your person and act only on what you or your person tell them to do? Do they file all their paperwork with the court on time or do you have to delay your court hearing to the court receives the paper work. Do they act above board and not engage in dubious behaviour.

Experience

Does the lawyer have experience in your person’s case? Are there any reviews about them on the internet? Do their names come up with any court cases and what were the outcome of these? Does what they are saying sound reasonable to you and someone else you might share this with?

If you have concerns, it might pay for you to find another lawyer. If the sentence is likely to be minimal, your person has the right to seek a new Legal Aid lawyer, however this process may take time. If approved by Legal Aid, your person will also still not be able to choose one themselves, but will need to take who is appointed to them i.e. the next lawyer available for Legal Aid duty. If your person wants to choose their own lawyer for a crime with the likelihood of a lighter sentence, then you and your person will need to pay for the lawyer yourself.

The only way your person can choose one yourself through Legal Aid is when they are up for a crime that is more serious with a sentence maximum penalty of over ten years.

Visiting with COVID!

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I guess, like me, many of you trying to visit someone in prison were glad to see the back of 2020 thinking COVID was going to be all over. Then we had more in 2021, and now with another peak in COVID numbers some prisons across Australia and New Zealand still either wont allow visitors at this current time, or do but with restrictions.

Just putting it out there, visits with masks and gloves on isn’t quite the same. You want to visit to connect with your loved one, but instead you can’t touch a person and give them a hug and a kiss. Not being able to see their whole face because there is a mask on feels like you cant work out really want they are feeling. Sitting at least 1.5 metres away in the same room as others sitting 1.5 meters away means everyone is also yelling to get heard. There is no way you can get all the conversation. One older woman in one visit told me it’s even worse for those with hearing or sight impairment.

I come away from the visit these days often more frustrated than when I went in. Yes, I saw my loved one but it was hard and just flings back in my face all the wrong in this journey.

It can be upsetting visiting under these conditions and I know some who just can’t visit because all the above is too difficult. That’s okay. Remember we all need to put our self care up there because dealing with someone inside is hard enough. I know some say that our loved ones need us more than ever now. Agree, they can do, but better you are still sane and can visit and communicate when can, then become unwell yourself due to too much stress and not be able to be there at all.

I still continue to go when able with the changing restrictions but I lower my expectations for the kind of visit I am going to have. I know I cant just hold them in my arms. I cant feel their skin. But I can know they are being kept as safe as can be with COVID around.

I know from my person the harsh reality of having COVID has been for some of the people in their wing. Yes, some just got cold like symptoms, but others in nearby cells have been really sick and thought they were going to die. I know what it’s like being really unwell at home with all the comforts around. I can only imagine the additional pain in a place where it is cold, harsh, and no family who care around.

It’s been great to see more prisons using video calls. Having advocated for this for many years, now it seems to be standard practice in many prisons. It makes it so much easier seeing someone, even if online, when you live a long way away.

With COVID, visiting has been harder and more frustrating. But this will not last forever, and my person is well and still alive!