I guess, like me, many of you trying to visit someone in prison were glad to see the back of 2020 thinking COVID was going to be all over. Then we had more in 2021, and now with another peak in COVID numbers some prisons across Australia and New Zealand still either wont allow visitors at this current time, or do but with restrictions.
Just putting it out there, visits with masks and gloves on isn’t quite the same. You want to visit to connect with your loved one, but instead you can’t touch a person and give them a hug and a kiss. Not being able to see their whole face because there is a mask on feels like you cant work out really want they are feeling. Sitting at least 1.5 metres away in the same room as others sitting 1.5 meters away means everyone is also yelling to get heard. There is no way you can get all the conversation. One older woman in one visit told me it’s even worse for those with hearing or sight impairment.
I come away from the visit these days often more frustrated than when I went in. Yes, I saw my loved one but it was hard and just flings back in my face all the wrong in this journey.
It can be upsetting visiting under these conditions and I know some who just can’t visit because all the above is too difficult. That’s okay. Remember we all need to put our self care up there because dealing with someone inside is hard enough. I know some say that our loved ones need us more than ever now. Agree, they can do, but better you are still sane and can visit and communicate when can, then become unwell yourself due to too much stress and not be able to be there at all.
I still continue to go when able with the changing restrictions but I lower my expectations for the kind of visit I am going to have. I know I cant just hold them in my arms. I cant feel their skin. But I can know they are being kept as safe as can be with COVID around.
I know from my person the harsh reality of having COVID has been for some of the people in their wing. Yes, some just got cold like symptoms, but others in nearby cells have been really sick and thought they were going to die. I know what it’s like being really unwell at home with all the comforts around. I can only imagine the additional pain in a place where it is cold, harsh, and no family who care around.
It’s been great to see more prisons using video calls. Having advocated for this for many years, now it seems to be standard practice in many prisons. It makes it so much easier seeing someone, even if online, when you live a long way away.
With COVID, visiting has been harder and more frustrating. But this will not last forever, and my person is well and still alive!